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Name: Zhi Xiong
Age: 21
School: SISPEC
Laopo: Y Meiyi Y
Age: 20
Owner of two cute hamster

JJ Lin Jun Jie - Xiao Jiu Wo

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images: lyraisme
designer: lyraisme
resources: I II
editor: RuBy AnG(EXTRA)

yes... she has a lot of problem.... her work? i cant help.... her family? i am not in the good position to do anything... at least for her lost phone... i brough a new phone for her at least she can feel better or maybe i feel better because this is something i can do for her.... but her lost contact and pic in her phone.... gone....

came to my problem... first my leg.... after 9 months i tot at least i can do some work out... jus after a run i can felt a major big different for my leg before and after the run.... shit shit shit.... i think operation is a onli way out for me... lucky shit me not a member of some national team playing for singapore... or else my pic will appear in the news paper... written big big "leg broken national team player jump down from singapore high flyer"

=x

fuck up... out of the sudden jus feel i am useless....

yesterday was their pop.... seeing them wearing the rank and take a look on my own uniform.... if not that night... if not the bball.... if not the fall.... i am already their senior...

everyone like to ooc... but ooc is not a fun thing to be... u r nth...

if given a chance.... i wan to recourse.... not because of the rank.... not because of the pay.... not because of the stupid "with pride we lead"....

if my chance for recourse is 0%.... cos ever since that night i fall... my life for this 2 years made a major turnaround....

everyone know after ooc u will get a re posting as a men... most likely will be slacker.... but for me is diff case... due to my condition i will unable to post out... 9 months as a ooc is not a joke...

i wish to post out and yet hope to stay here... post out as long i am somebody in the unit... i know my job scope... rather than stay in coyline wondering around....

hope to stay? staying here for 9months... my root is here... posting out mean they will pull out my root in charlie soil...

what should i do when i ORD?
work? work as what?
study? study what?

one thing for sure is i not longer to touch chemical anymore...... i hate it...

i have no goal.... seriously....
i protect the country as a ooc....
what i hope for is everysingle day jus pass a bit faster....
hope....

she is my everything... without her i think i might had depression already... because the onli thing i look forward everyday is to see her....

my NS life sux.... cos as a ooc u r jus doing something ppl don care...

FULL STOP

all my bmt friend is in unit already.... i still staying in charlie doing those bo liao stuff.... belong to no unit.... learning nth... wasting my life in ns...

currently my leg was reali in a bad state... cannot run, cannot jump and cannot stand too long... cannot down pes due to many reasons.... too hard to down pes... because of those stupid soldier like to chao keng all the way... people like us who reali need medical attention will group under same chao keng group as them...

cannot blame them... because if i will the medical officer i will be the same too... jus blame the system....

now in charlie jus like those extra worker or backup stuff... help in all ways we can help... cos we have no posting and training going on.... still we are drawing monthly allowance from the government... cos they will make us do those sort of thing to help up the company... some time i jus don feel needed in the company... at least for now i am the overall in charge for those new ooc... need to learn them a lot of thing and tell them all the dos and dons...

now my life onli insist of wake up.... go offices show face.... eat..... call meiyi when free.... bath.... go toilet.... go canteen if happy.... sleep and help up if needed.... other than that i jus don know why am i in ns.... feel so useless now... 1.5 years to go... i miss meiyi.... i miss nyp... i miss mcdonald.... i miss the food at chong pang... i miss home....... i miss everything that have no connection with ns.... but i still in ns... not good enough or unfair?

being combat fit in singapore is a crime.... not combat fit is bouns....

if u r combat fit, u need to train like a dog.....

if u r not combat fit.... omg.... the life in ns is totally difference... jus to cco store to collect some stuff in the afternoon... knock the door of the store room.... no reply.... knock again.... no reply..... den when i jus about to leave... the door slowly open.... the storeman will sleeping in the store.... btw the storeroom is air-con one.... so shiok...

another good example is clerk... everyday 8 to 5 in the air con room....

there were too many combat fit ppl keng thru... having relax life...
there were also too many non combat fit ppl group under chao keng and now still suffering...

i never like to write the things happen between us in the blog because i don wan the whole world to know... but she like it a lot... maybe thats her another channel of telling me what she not happy with me.... but why am i writing now because too many thing i keep to myself now and i am bursting...

everything was so fine until when we were having dinner at my own house... the food she don reali like it a lot but i love it a lot... since she don like so i told her jus eat a bit den i will acc go out and eat second round of dinner... i eat a lot for the dinner because i reali like the food so much and i did not have my breakfast and lunch that day... somehow she angry... and was reali mad at me.. reason? because she think that i eat so much and will not have space in the stomach to eat with her second round...

she don like does not mean i should eat lesser... my mum was the one cooking it and how she feel if she saw so much left over... of cos i must eat more if she don like the food... am i in wrong? but she throw a very big temper at me... i try to give in, but my effort was thrown to drain... after the dinner she refuse to go for second round outside...

i try to pet her head but she throw my hand away... i call for her, she totally show NO REACTION to me... i ask her what wrong she don reply too... try to give her booster to hug, she THROW IT ON THE FLOOR...

i still give in to her.... i believe most guy will gone mad already...

the killer was below.....

after near 11pm i drive her home, she told me she is going out with another GUY that she so-call buddy... worst her phone no batt and ask me not to call her when she is with that guy... serious which guy still can tahan i will call him god... she reali cross the line and my limit this time... i jus sms her: "if u go out with him, we are over"

end up she say i treaten her.....

she never tot she had anything wrong at all until now... she cross my limit last night and i still being stupid enough to give in again and sms her to make peace with her... guesss what she reply?

she reply me "crap"

den tonight we actually going for stanlet wedding... she told me she don wan to go... well... thats her style... no surprise...

all start because of a simple dinner... angry over something she so sure will happen but not yet happen... serious this time round i am very disappointed with her... proving me again and again giving in to her was the wrong move