Friday, May 28, 2010
fuck up... out of the sudden jus feel i am useless....
yesterday was their pop.... seeing them wearing the rank and take a look on my own uniform.... if not that night... if not the bball.... if not the fall.... i am already their senior...
everyone like to ooc... but ooc is not a fun thing to be... u r nth...
if given a chance.... i wan to recourse.... not because of the rank.... not because of the pay.... not because of the stupid "with pride we lead"....
if my chance for recourse is 0%.... cos ever since that night i fall... my life for this 2 years made a major turnaround....
everyone know after ooc u will get a re posting as a men... most likely will be slacker.... but for me is diff case... due to my condition i will unable to post out... 9 months as a ooc is not a joke...
i wish to post out and yet hope to stay here... post out as long i am somebody in the unit... i know my job scope... rather than stay in coyline wondering around....
hope to stay? staying here for 9months... my root is here... posting out mean they will pull out my root in charlie soil...
what should i do when i ORD?
work? work as what?
study? study what?
one thing for sure is i not longer to touch chemical anymore...... i hate it...
i have no goal.... seriously....
i protect the country as a ooc....
what i hope for is everysingle day jus pass a bit faster....
hope....
she is my everything... without her i think i might had depression already... because the onli thing i look forward everyday is to see her....
my NS life sux.... cos as a ooc u r jus doing something ppl don care...
FULL STOP
